Posts Tagged ‘law of attraction not working’

Why do I keep getting what I’ve always gotten?

Monday, November 2nd, 2009

By Kathryn C. Edler

How to Manfiest Question

How to Manfiest Question

 

 

 

Law of Attraction Help

Law of Attraction Help

 

 

 

A client once told me, “I’m a lost soul with no purpose. Each day it gets worse. I need to “figure it out”, or why live? Nothing ever changes.” Because of my profession, people call me every day who feel that their lives are a “mess”, that they are victims of circumstances and situations that are out of their control, and who continue to re-live patterns of behavior that sabotage, defeat, and dis-empower their lives.

I noticed that these people who are desperate for change have several things in common. The first thing is that none of them EXPECT anything to change. This in turn feeds the same reoccurring habit – they are focused on what they do NOT want. The old habits, fears and prejudices that come from previous experiences rear their ugly heads. If we become frozen by our fears it is helpful to identify them, find out where they come from, and then finally learn the tools to release them. A friend asked once why she attracted the same type of man into her life over and over again. She then named several qualities, which she considered to be negative and did not want in a mate nor in a relationship. She had been focusing on that which she did not want, and coming from intense fear that each time she met a man he would “be just like the others”. She was feeling in a lack of what she really wanted and was coming from “that place.” Since like energy attracts like energy, (and her energy was full of fear), she had been creating in her reality exactly what she feared the most. She had been creating “by default.” I suggested to my friend that I teach her some tools to learn that would help to manifest her dreams – in all areas of her life. She was excited that she finally had a “place to start.”

One modality is Time Line Therapy ™, which was very effective in helping to eliminate limiting belief systems about herself and the world around her. It is also useful in resolving those unresolved negative emotions, such as fear, anger, guilt and sadness. Sometimes it may take getting to the root of the problem to understand where our patterns of behavior come from. Sometimes the unconscious mind represses memories (sometimes from trauma or “not so nice experiences”). With a simple technique, she understood where her issues stemmed from and was able to have a positive knowing from the experience. She was able to integrate it into her consciousness with understanding and awareness. Those old fears and limiting belief systems that she had incorporated into her life started to dissolve. She came to see that she is an unlimited perfect human being that is right where she needs to be, and that she is responsible for, and in control of, her own happiness. All she needed was some direction and the tools to do it!

The next step was to integrate this into her life NOW and help her create her future. She already knew what she didn’t want so it was easy to see the contrast and identify what she DID want. She started composing affirmations surrounding what she wanted in all areas of her life. We also used Time Line Therapy™ to insert goals in her future. This tool became invaluable to her. It entails not only visualizing what you want, but also FEELING what it is like to have the goal completed already – in the now, at the present time – and to feel appreciation and gratitude. It is also important to USE YOUR IMAGINATION and add all of the other senses to the picture: in other words, to give it life!

The “law of attraction” works: The universe cannot help but give you what you desire if your energy is positive, loving, joyous, and focused on what it is that you want. Using it will be of greatest benefit and will assist you in attracting ALL of your dreams into your reality.

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Difference Between Laws Of Attraction And Detachment

Monday, November 2nd, 2009

How to Manfiest Question

How to Manfiest Question

 

 

Hi Anisa, I am a little confused. I am practicing the Law of Attraction. to get and manifest your desires, you desire it, see it and feel it in your heart. Like a movie in your mind. I am wondering why the Law of Detachment is saying the opposite of what the Law of Attraction says? Regards,Neil

 

Law of Attraction Help

Law of Attraction Help

 

 

Hi Neil,

Thank you for your email and questions.

The law of attraction operates on an energetic level – drawing and magnetizing comparable energy; energy and experiences that are vibrationally attuned with our most dominant thoughts. When we desire something, we launch a vibration that begins to bring that experience into our lives. However, desire alone is not enough to complete the vibrational creation. It’s when we take our thoughts to the level of ‘allowing’ that our dreams can solidify and materialize.

The law of detachment says that we must relinquish our attachment to our desire in order to manifest it. Let’s look at what detachment is and what it is not. We are attached when we feel that we will not be satisfied until or unless we get what we want (our desires fulfilled) therefore we are ‘attached’ to the outcome. Desire alone without faith, willingness, confidence, acceptance, expectation and/or certainty yields a vibrationally descending or repelling space. Desire alone is NOT enough to manifest our dreams.

Detachment does not require that we give up our desire. Detachment is not apathy or indifference. Effective detachment never feels negative – ever! Effective detachment feels freeing! When we are successfully detached from the outcome we feel like the Universe has our back; like all is well; like we can trust in our greater good; like we are absolutely certain that all that we desire is already ours.

Seeing and feeling what we want in our hearts absolutely supports the conscious creation of the life we desire. However, if we see it and feel it during our meditation but then later in the day continue to acknowledge ‘we still don’t have what we want’, then we counter-act the very creation we launched earlier. We are STILL applying the law of attraction, but we are attracting the opposite of what we ‘desire’ and the opposite of what we ‘envisioned’ earlier.

For example, I have a friend that owes back taxes. We spoke about her manifesting the money to pay them off and how wonderful it would feel to be financially free. As we were discussing her living vision, it came out that what she wanted was “to not have the pressure of this debt.”

Unfortunately, the vibration of ‘back taxes’ and ‘pressure of debt’ is so incredibly negative that it’s a real challenge to get into the space of, “all is well” and “I am financially free.”

As you can imagine, even though the desire is strong for financial freedom, as long as the subconscious thoughts are resonating with the fear of the back taxes, then the desire ALONE is not enough to attract resolution.

This is where the law of detachment comes in. It is essential to intentional creation to get into a feeling place of peaceful expectation that what we want is already at hand. As long as we are ‘attached’ we will continue to focus on the negative aspects of what we don’t want and the fears that come up as we doubt our ability to manifest.

Effectively applying the law of attraction requires both desire and acceptance. Practicing the law of detachment is how we can accept and expect what we desire. The two laws work harmoniously to support us in effectively applying the power of our minds and the universal laws of creation.

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Using EFT to apply the Law of Detachment
(Examples given.)
 

Emotional Freedom Technique is simply awesome at supporting the Law of Detachment in our lives. (This is not an understatement!)

If you feel ‘attached’ to the outcome of whatever you want to create, use EFT to get rid of the attachment.

Here’s a quick way to clarify the attachments and EFT them away:

1 – List what you’re afraid will happen if you don’t get what you want.

2 – Take the reasons on your list that are the most troubling, put them into an “Even though I’m afraid.” statement.

3 – EFT the negative – starting with the set-up phrase then one pass on the points with the negative reminder phrase (Set up: Even though I’m afraid.) & (points: “.this fear”).

4 – Now implant the positive (the positive opposite of this fear that you want instead). For example, “What if I were at peace.” or “What if I trusted in the Divine Order.” or “I choose to allow myself to courageously and boldly..”

A few generic set-up examples:

Even though I’m afraid that I can’t have what I want..

Even though I’m afraid that I’ll lose (this thing) if I don’t get what I want.

Even though I’m afraid that even if I get what I want this will happen too.

Even though I’m afraid that it won’t be enough.

Even though I’m afraid that I won’t be able to handle (this) if I get what I want.

Even though I’m afraid that I’m inadequate and don’t possess the (talent, intelligence, skills etc.)..

(Remember, you’ll do three set-up phrases on Karate Chop point or Sore Spot then you’ll use a negative reminder to do one pass on the body points. Then, you’ll complete the EFT round with positive implants. See below.)

A few generic positive implant examples:

What if I were optimistic and trusted in myself to see this through easily?

What if I were hopeful and allowed myself to be happy?

What if I trusted in the Divine Order and knew all was well?

What if I were satisfied with ‘what is’ and still easily allowed myself to reach for me?

What if I courageously and boldly took action now?

What if I were willing to risk failure and risk success?

What if I were at peace now?

I choose to trust in the Divine.

I choose to allow my greatest good to flow effortlessly to me now.

I choose to enjoy this moment and joyously create the next too.

With EFT & LOA, you’ll find that you begin to enjoy an overall sense of wellness that you may have never experienced before. Each round of EFT creates subtle but lasting results. Ask anyone that’s done EFT for an extended period of time. They will tell you that they ‘don’t know why’ but their life is simply more peaceful, joyous, and easy! It must be all that EFT!!!!

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How Bad Things Happen to Good People?

Friday, October 30th, 2009

How to Manfiest Question

How to Manfiest Question

 

 

 

Law of Attraction Help

Law of Attraction Help

 

 

 

The Universal Laws operate on a consistent, orderly, impartial and uniform basis.

Although this truth is harsh and even unfathomable when we think about the victims of September 11th, 2001; or the abuse or murder of a child, or even the senseless destruction of our planet, for example, the Universal Law is operating in Divine Order, never the less.

I’ll be honest, although I have my theories, I don’t ‘get’ the meaning or the purpose of it all, and I certainly would not be so arrogant as to proclaim to have the ONLY answer to this profound question or to ‘How did they attract this?’

Never the less, I am unshakeable in my gratitude for the consistency of the Laws. From my perspective, it is this truth – that the laws are consistent and dependable – that makes life livable.

If I thought that some indiscriminate force could simply bluster into my life ripping my world apart, as if the law of chaos granted the winds of destruction the right to randomly wreak havoc, then life and my role in it would be meaningless. If there really was such a ‘random force’ I’d scream, ‘then what’s the point?!?!’

On the other hand, there is also no way that anyone could convince me that an infant ‘attracted’ abuse through negative thinking. That just doesn’t match what we know about the pure love that is an infant’s gift.

Therefore, for my personal peace, I have reached for an explanation that attempts to consolidate what I believe to be true, as of today, about the Universal Laws and the Spiritual nature of life.

First, there is the fact that Creation is Teleological. Teleology is the study of final causes – especially as it relates to circumstance and events leading up to the final event.

We see this law time after time in nature. For example, the Lodgepole Pine Tree, the most widespread tree in the British Columbia province, cannot propagate without its cone being exposed to extreme heat, as in the heat from a forest fire. No fire (death) = no new trees (birth).

When we think about the ramifications of this fact, we then realize that it was not the lightning bolt that caused the fire, but the end result (natural reforestation) that indeed inspired the original lightning bolt and thus the fire.

Then we have the second verity that there are multiple levels of consciousness and many layers of energetic frequencies, intentions and super-intentions that collectively co-create our experiences.

For example, one such layer of consciousness has been observed in the study of past-lives. Whether we believe in reincarnation or not doesn’t negate the fact that millions of patients have discovered that their present day illness (allergy, disease, phobia, etc.) is connected to strong emotions, thoughts, actions, experiences (etc.) that occurred during a past life. Once discovered, many patients are able to recover from their malady.

Carl Jung, well-known psychologist and mystic, called this the ‘collective unconscious’ or ‘universal memory’. This of course implies that we are collectively influenced by the thoughts, emotions, and beliefs of the collective whole.

Thus we are now led to yet another layer of consciousness: the collective consciousness aka the global consciousness.

Here’s an interesting fact that illustrates how influential the ‘global consciousness’ can be:

There’s an African culture that believes all children born on Wednesdays are the devil’s offspring. To prove their belief is true all one has to do is look to the fact that more than half of the crimes committed in their culture are by those Wednesday children. Is it Wednesday that causes the problem or the global belief, we ask?

Combining the principle of teleology with the many layers of consciousness we find answers. I’m not suggesting the answers are satisfactory or comforting, but they are at least answers that are congruent with what we believe about the Universal Laws of creation.

Consider, for example, the evolutionary changes that, as far as I can tell, always ensues chaos, destruction and tragedy. We can’t help but wonder if somehow super-intentions along with the multiple layers of consciousness were at work inspiring the end result?

Viktor Frankl, considered one of the most profoundly influential psychiatrists of our time wrote in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning:

“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms–to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” (-Viktor Frankl, M.D., Ph.D., (March 26, 1905 – September 2, 1997) was an Austrian neurologist, psychiatrist, and Holocaust survivor.)

Imagine for a moment that Victor Frankl’s story, listed as one of the ten most influential books in America, had never happened? Is it possible that the Divine Order (possibly his soul-choice) inspired not only his Nazi concentration camp experience but his survival as a match to his higher calling; a match to a super-intention? If his life purpose was to arouse the spiritual liberation of millions of souls that found his work then who are we to say that what occurred for him was not a match?

Considering the teleological nature of life, the multiple layers of consciousness, and super-intentions we find at the very minimum, food for thought.

This does not cancel out the impermeable fact that we still have free will and when combined with awareness, we can at any point choose to intentionally direct our experience using the Law of Attraction. It just may be that the way we ‘thought’ we wanted it and the way we ‘really’ wanted it are not always the same.

By accepting that all is well, all the time, we actually tap into the stream of well being that will take us through one ‘negative’ experience and into the meaning and purpose beyond. This is where passionate living can really flourish.

I was at a Dr. David Hawkin’s lecture (he’s the best-selling author of Power vs. Force) when something he said shook me to the core. With as much emphasis as a mid-day yawn he said, (I paraphrase):

A soul chooses its date of death prior to birth. And, on that date they simply transition from this plane to the next. Like a butterfly squished on your car window, they just keep flapping their ethereal wings.

What if our souls make choices before we arrive concerning our time of death and our purpose while in physical form? Wouldn’t these decisions then co-create with the intentions and beliefs of the moment to fulfill this ‘fate by soul-choice?’

One last personal example, the magnitude of which I did comprehend until many, many years later, happened the summer before my freshman year of high school. My best friend, Zena, was killed in a car accident. I was devastated. And, I was angry. I was angry because I had been denied one last visit with Zena before her accident. My father said no because he needed my help in the family antique business.

Losing Zena AND being denied the freedom to see her caused an internal chain of events that became the foundation upon which I create my life today. It was this loss that caused me to fearlessly seize my life. My motto became, “I will never let an opportunity go by without seizing it. I don’t care what the consequences may be. If I have to defy orders, fail, get into trouble and risk everything to be free and fulfill my dreams – I will. Never again will I be denied.” You see, Zena was a poet and I still have her poems today. The poems she wrote as an 11-year-old child were about living your dreams. Zena’s spirit has never stopped inspiring me.

Of course my original motto got me into quite a bit of trouble, as you can imagine. However, I eventually settled into a more vibrationally aligned manifesto: “I choose to live every moment fearlessly and passionately, as if it were my last opportunity

Without this experience, in my soul, I know my life would have been very, very different and I also know I would not be living the life of my dreams today, not the way I do now.

As a mother, this wouldn’t ease my pain but as a spiritual student, I find all of these and other spiritual truths helpful in finding meaning within suffering.

And, what if that was both the cause and the purpose?

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How Often To Use Manifesting Exercises?

Friday, October 30th, 2009

How to Manfiest Question

How to Manfiest Question

I read the Q & A about the number of times to manifest – you said only ask once (From How Long Does it Take to Manifest Something article).Must I wait until I receive what I have manifested before I manifest something else? I am asking this because Dr Anthony Robins suggests doing a manifesting exercise every day?

 

Law of Attraction Help

Law of Attraction Help

The concept of asking once comes from the idea that if we ask more than once it means we don’t believe. And, since absolute certainty and pure belief are necessary ingredients for conscious creation, repeatedly asking for the same thing over and over again and not ‘believing’ is detrimental to the rapid materialization of our desire.

The intention is to ask and let it go with absolute certainty because the big U (Universe) knows what you want now. All you have to do is get out of the way and allow it to occur.

However, what if you ask once and don’t actually believe? Then what you want will not manifest.

When you become aware that your level of belief is not 100% certain, ask again and again until it is. I’m a firm believer in daily manifestation exercises not because the Universe can’t remember what I asked for previously but because it supports me in increasing my belief. You see, we are asking over and over again not for the Universe but for ourselves.

I write down my top 6 goals for life every day. I do this not because the Creative Mechanism didn’t hear me yesterday or the day before but because the activity supports me in aligning my daily actions with my life intentions. This one activity supports me in remembering what I want and walking a congruent line with what I say is important. At any moment I can look at what I’m doing and ask myself, “is this aligned with my top 6 goals for life?” If the answer is no, then I can immediately choose to course correct.

Additionally, since there are certainly times when I don’t really believe, the more I focus upon my big dreams and concentrate on my willingness to detach and have faith, the more I increase my belief. When I get to a place of pure belief, what I want must manifest.

You also asked, “Must I wait until I receive what I manifested before I manifest something else?”

The answer is no! And, the truth is you couldn’t do it this way even if you wanted to. We are constantly attracting and can’t stop! With estimates of anywhere from 12,000 to 65,000 thoughts per day, we are constantly creating. Our work is to become more and more conscious of the quality of our thoughts in order to intentionally direct our lives.

The key to creating the ‘big dreams’ is launch your desires with enthusiasm and simply monitor your level of faith and certainty. When your belief that what you want is equivalent to your belief that the sun will rise tomorrow, then you know your conscious creation exercises are complete.

In the mean time, go ahead and plant an abundant crop of dreams with as many intentional seeds of desire as possible. The Universe will deliver to you that which you are aligned with each and every day. Pay attention and you’ll discover that there are things that you manifested intentionally with very little effort. The harvest of these quick manifestations will serve as your beautiful reminder that you are indeed a powerful creator. Use these victorious moments of conscious creation as reasons to trust and believe in yourself; use the fruits of your day to encourage you to continue in the pursuit of your big dreams with ever increasing faith and confidence that you are on your Divine Right path, right now!

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The Law of Detachment

Friday, October 30th, 2009

How to Manfiest Question

How to Manfiest Question

What’s the definition of the Law of Detachment?

 

Law of Attraction Help

Law of Attraction Help

The definition of the law of attachment might be understood by pondering the following quotes.

“As we want it and allow it – it is.” -Abraham, from Jerry and Esther Hicks

“The Law of Detachment says that in order to acquire anything in the physical universe, you have to relinquish your attachment to it.” – from The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra

How can something so simple be so difficult to grasp? How can one little law be the brunt of so many of our laments and ailments? Detachment has been, for me the most difficult Universal Law to grasp. One minute I’m fine for example, saying, “I’m perfectly okay if I never get my book written. I know that all is well and divinely perfect. I’m completely detached and totally fulfilled now.” The next minute I’m saying, “Ugh, why can’t I just have some time to write and finish this darn thing! I want it completed now!”

The struggle and perpetual vacillation continues as one minute I’m honoring the perfect timing of the Divine in my life, knowing that Spirit never makes a mistake while the next minute I’m having a spiritual temper tantrum screaming, ” I WANT WHAT I WANT, WHEN I WANT IT – NOW!”

When we have these little temper tantrums it is always because we are looking at that which we do not want in our life. We are looking at the lack of what we want as opposed to looking with faith towards the desire. Ernest Holmes in The Science of Mind wrote, “Never look at that which you do not wish to experience.” Turning away from our limited reality and maintaining focus on the vision of our desire while diligently allowing it to occur is practicing detachment.

Often the questions that arise when working with clients on detachment have to do with, “If I say I don’t care – won’t I manifest it not coming into my life?” Or “If I relax, won’t I get complacent and then stop all the energy that’s flowing towards my desires?” Or “If I say I’m happy and content now, won’t it keep me where I am forever?”

The answers (depending on the situation) will vary slightly but will always come back to how positive or negative you are feeling. How does it make you feel when you relax and let go? How does it feel to find happiness in the now while pursuing what you want for the future? Is it positive, joyous or comfortable? If the feelings are positive then you are in alignment with your desires. If your feelings are negative then you are still attached somewhere in the vision.

If you continue being in alignment (by letting go) while still maintaining the vision of the desire then (and only then) will you be practicing detachment and your desire will have to come to you.

Our ultimate personal growth and happiness truly depends on mastering to some degree the law of detachment. Some philosophies practice detachment by dismissing all desires while others practice detachment by honoring the sacred in everything. Choosing a method or a combination of methods will serve you to be a more intentional creator while experiencing more peace as well.

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How do I apply the Law of Detachment technique ?

Friday, October 30th, 2009

How to Manfiest Question

How to Manfiest Question

 

 

 

How can I detach myself from the outcome of what I want to manifest? Is there a technique that you recommend?

 

Law of Attraction Help

Law of Attraction Help

 

 

 

Detaching from the outcome of what we desire is, in my opinion, the trickiest and most difficult manifesting step to master. Here’s the dilemma that I’m sure you’ve run into, first, you identify what you want. Okay, I want “a beautiful garden” for example. Then, you imagine what it would feel like when you have this beautiful garden. You imagine how relaxed you’ll feel kicking back and enjoying the beautiful view; you imagine how wonderfully fresh and inviting the aroma of jasmine, honeysuckle and gardenias will be as they take turns blooming throughout the year; you imagine how the sound of birds playing, hummingbirds spinning and squirrels chasing each other around your garden oasis lifts your spirits and instantly makes you feel inspired and in awe of life. You imagine sipping your favorite beverage while breathing in the fresh air and relaxing deliciously into your achievement.

Now, you’re flying high even though you haven’t begun to break dirt. You plan to go to the store to purchase some flowers tomorrow and thereby begin the physical part of your manifestation. You wake up feeling inspired only to discover that a late snowstorm is headed your way and spring will be postponed for another two weeks or longer. You wait two weeks; only to discover that this is going to be the wettest spring in history and you can’t get into the garden to start digging without being swept away with the rain. You continue to wait it out; only to get to the nursery and everything is so outrageously priced you can only justify affording one small, rose bush that you feel probably won’t make it a week!

Okay, the power of imagining your ideal garden is not completely wasted but the disappointment, however slight, resulting from what we judge as one set back after another is certainly an indication that our attachment to what we want is preventing us from having it.

On the other hand, if we choose to refuse to judge anything as wrong, but instead choose to assume the best, then we will be maintaining our vibration while remaining detached. For example, assume the snowstorm is the Universe ensuring you will plant in perfect timing to be able to enjoy your garden for the longest, desired time possible. Assume the rain is there to wash the bad soil away, leaving beautifully irrigated, nutrient rich soil ready for your artistry. Assume a plant sale is about to be held somewhere and you’re not meant to buy anything overpriced today because then you’ll miss out on what you really, really want.

One technique that I use with great success for detaching is to completely surrender to the worst-case scenario.

For example, when the snowstorm shows up I would say:

“Okay, if it’s meant to be that the worst case scenario happens here and I don’t get to plant in time for my favorite flowers to bloom, then so be it. It’ll be okay. I know that there’s a divine plan in store for my desires and I relax into this plan. I surrender to the snow never clearing up. I surrender to my worst fears coming true. And, so what?!? I’ll still survive and it’ll all be okay!” And, then I’d say, “And, what I want is to feel, wonderfully relaxed in my beautiful garden. And, I enjoy so much imagining my garden that it doesn’t matter if I ever get it or not. However, what I want is to feel the flowers and the dirt in my hands. What I want is to invite friends and family over to enjoy it with me. I see this happening now, in perfect timing and I relax!”

To surrender does not mean to resign. Surrendering is nothing like resignation. You are simply realigning yourself with the knowledge that the Divine Order of life is at hand and you are at peace with it now.

You will know you are detached when you feel “at peace” no matter what the manifestation and you feel faithful and content that in perfect timing all that you desire already is and will be yours.

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Expect losers, freaks and geeks – and you won’t be disappointed!

Friday, October 30th, 2009

The law of attraction says that what we think about, we bring about. The primary law of the Universe, applies to our positive thoughts, and our negative thoughts.

 

How to Manfiest Question

How to Manfiest Question

 

 

I can’t find a decent gal. Every woman I meet is a loser, a freak or a sloth! The last woman I dated was the worst; she was a wolf in sheep’s clothing! It was a close call because I was almost ready to say, “This could be someone I could get into.” Then she stood me up and lied to me. I caught her red- (actually blonde) handed at the grocery store with another guy! If I do meet someone who I might consider dating, then they are too young for me, married, digging for gold or sometimes – gay! Maybe I need to defect?!? What’s up with every woman nowadays being so non-datable?

 

 

Law of Attraction Help

Law of Attraction Help

 

 

Let me just say, “You are right!!!” Gals YOU are going to meet are going to be exactly as you expect them to be – losers, freaks or sloths! Then you’ll have every right to say, “See, I told you so!” But there is hope! See and feel if any of the following statements mean anything to you.

“Who so diggeth a pit shall fall therein.” –Proverbs, 26:27

“What we think about – we bring about.” -anon

“Beliefs are self-fulfilling prophesies.” -anon

“We create our fate every day… most of the ills we
suffer from are directly traceable to our own behavior.” –Henry Miller

If you want to change what you are attracting then change what you are focused upon. Change what you expect, and change your beliefs about women! Your ability to attract someone who has integrity, for example, is limited to your expectation of such. Believe that there are women out there that in fact meet your criteria and have integrity AND that you can meet one. You will get nothing less than what you focus upon and expect. It’s the law of attraction at work; the universal law of attraction operating easily through the power of your thoughts.

Let’s take a situation like online dating. There are plenty of players, losers, nymphos and con artists waiting for their prey online, and if you are fearful of meeting them, then you will be in perfect harmony (and alignment) with that happening. However, if you look at online dating like a numbers game, and then you say, “Okay, I’m just going to go into this with the intention of meeting lots of women. I may or may not find my ideal partner, but I’m definitely going to have fun. I’m going to say “No thanks,” when someone doesn’t meet my standards and I’m going to say, “Yes, let’s play,” when someone does.”

How do you begin to change what you’re attracting, as well as protect your experience from the losers? First, don’t have a pity party! We (myself included) have a tendency to sensationalize our woes. We like (and sometimes crave) the momentary recognition and connection that we get in the sharing. In other words, we like to talk about our worst experiences. So, we hang out with friends who can sympathize. We begin telling our, “Would you believe what happened to me…?” stories and pretty soon, everyone around is reaching far and wide to come up with a better “NO Way – you’ve got to kidding! That’s terrible!” horror story! What’s worse, if we are in a mood to rant and rave, and a friend says, “You know, that’s just not my experience and I would prefer to talk about something more positive.” We want to call them a Pollyanna or a metaphysical woo-woo-weirdo. Don’t do it! Instead, start hanging out with the friends who refuse to put up with or allow you to be negative!

Second, stop judging. The more you judge others and the more critical you are of others – the more likely you will attract not only women who will be critical of you but who will also give you reasons to criticize. Be willing and totally committed to surrendering to the fact that yes, there are in fact women other there with whom you will not want to be in relationship. AND there are in fact, women who you would definitely want to be in relationship. Stop judging women as either good or bad, right or wrong, and instead accept that you will be completely accepting of every human, simply because they are human. Also speak aloud to yourself the following and do so often, “In perfect timing, I will meet my ideal partner.”

Know that what you are sending out (by your expectations and beliefs) actually invites, magnetizes and even inspires your dates to BE exactly what you expect. Therefore, the third action for you to exercise is to change your expectation! To illustrate my point of how we inspire others to fulfill our expectation of them, I’d like to share a story from The Continuum Concept by Jean Liedloff. Jean describes her experience while living amongst a South American primitive clan of Indians and how what they expect naturally of their children actually occurs (creating a completely opposite view of what children are like, when compared to ours). For example, they expect their children, even infants, to survive, to be self-caring, self-protective and to be safe even amidst the jungle, turbulent rivers, poisonous intruders and razor-sharp weapons. Jean gave the example of how she watched an infant, playing at the edge of an eight-foot deep trench. The infant was barely crawling, could only occasionally manage to pull himself to a sitting position, and played all day within inches of this deadly pit (as she saw it). At times the child was virtually at the edge of the pit, sometimes even sitting with it’s back toward the pit. Not for one instant did the mother, the father or anyone else in the village think this child was in danger. They expected the infant to be safe, and it was. They demonstrated their belief and expectations further by the random placement of their hunting knives and bows which children played with all the time, without getting cut. They also expected their children to be safe along the water’s edge and within the water, and therefore death by drowning did not occur. What they expected was in fact what they experienced. Their expectations actually inspired an innate intelligence within their children to fulfill their families’ expectations.

So, change your belief, and you will protect your experience! Believe that your ideal partner exists, believe and expect to meet him or her in perfect timing and believe that you will be Divinely guided, and you will be!

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I have been unable to manifest my true love…. is it possible?

Friday, October 30th, 2009

How to Manfiest Question

How to Manfiest Question

 

 

I am 36 and a single parent of two children 7 & 9. Although I have manifested other great things in life, and definitely live according to the spiritual laws, I have been unable to manifest my true love. I have believed that while I am healing, it has been good not to attract any more Mr. Wrongs…even if it means sometimes feeling lonely or unfulfilled. I am quite a self-aware, conscious, and as well attractive woman, and I attract many offers of friendship especially from other women, and sexual offers from men, but no man I want has come along for a long time offering me his heart. So here is my question: Do you think it is better to be single even if it goes on for years…while one is still healing their self esteem and inner psyche, or do you think that it is possible to attract and be able to show up for and maintain one’s true love, by intention alone? Is timing a factor for true love? Is it possible to attract a man who can teach me how to be intimate/vulnerable/trusting, who could help me heal? Or can one only attract what one is able to be/do oneself?

 

Law of Attraction Help

Law of Attraction Help

 

 

Thank you for your courageous searching. Your questions inspire me. I do not know that I have the ‘right’ answer to your questions. However, I do believe that when we turn to the absolute Truths, we find the answers there to be consistent and dependable. It’s this consistency that will provide us with the energy, inspiration and resiliency we desire. Accept these Divine Truths as our Truth and Peace begins to rule our hearts where fear once reigned.

The Law of Attraction says that whatever we focus upon expands and whatever we put our attention upon we draw into our lives.

Your inspiration to not attract any more ‘Mr. Wrongs’ has been (up until now) Divinely Ordered and appropriate. However, it is also in accordance to your fearful (albeit natural) thoughts that you ‘might attract another Mr. Wrong’ that has kept even Mr. Right away.

Our fears are simply as creative in our life as our positive intentions. Therefore, with a resolution such as, “I don’t want another bad relationship”, you have actually been successful at both keeping the bad away as well as the potential good.

You asked, “Do you think it is better to be single even if it goes on for years, while one is still healing?” I cannot speak for you or anyone else. However, I know that I will forever be healing, growing, and evolving. In fact, just when I think I’ve moved to the next level of my spiritual evolution, I am amazed at how poorly I react when confronted with a challenge that I thought I was OVER!

Alas, I have come to the realization that I will forever be a work in progress.

If I waited to be in a relationship until I was healed, I may never be in one. Is this true for you as well?

Whomever we attract into our lives at any given moment, is exactly who is supposed to be there. This relationship may or may not be our one True love that lasts forever. However, this person is there for a reason, even if it’s only for a season.

It IS possible to attract your True Love by intention alone. Additionally, you can only attract a relationship that has the power to heal because it can be no other way. Every relationship is an opportunity to heal. Period. There is no exception to this rule. Yet, it is also true that you can only attract and inspire out of others what you are able to give yourself.

That is okay. Allow yourself to love more and you will attract more love. Allow yourself to accept your humanness and you will attract a mate that can accept that humanness as well.

Stay focused on what you want, not on what you don’t want and you will attract it into your life. Increase your confidence that the timing is now and that you are ready.

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This is not working – My soul mate must not exist!

Thursday, October 29th, 2009

How to Manfiest Question

How to Manfiest Question

This is not working! I have been affirming and praying every day for one year now and nothing! Every day I read the same prayer, tell God how thankful I am for my perfect husband and I have not even come close to meeting him. Want am I doing wrong?

 

Law of Attraction Help

Law of Attraction Help

Nothing. You’re doing nothing wrong – except of course, assuming that you’re doing something wrong. And of course, assuming that God and the Universe have ignored your desires or that the Law of Attraction individually singled you out to punish and forsake you. To assume that you’re doing something wrong you have to be judging and looking at your life with pre-selected opinions and ideas and analyzing and assuming that you AREN’T getting exactly what you’re a match to, right now. Take fearless action towards offsetting the doubt that has now accumulated. You are justified in having doubt but no amount of justification will help you attract what you want – so instead accept that all is as it should be. Accept instead of Justify. Surrender instead of Fight!

“To surrender is to display courage and wisdom.” – Ralph H. Blum, The Book of Runes

Surrender and say, “I accept that this is perfect and I am grateful for this time to my self” – and really mean it and feel it.

Then, look towards becoming aware of the guidance and the opportunities within and around you that will lead you to your soul mate. Begin by going within; ask for guidance and understanding, patience and “right-mindedness.” Doubt will come and go but one thing is for certain – your Divine Partner exists and absolutely will arrive in perfect timing – keep that end in mind and be steadfast with your conviction of faith. The worst thing you can do is stay focused on the “reality” that you are not already with your partner. There is nothing that will ensure and create your loneliness more than sniveling. Treat yourself kindly whenever doubt appears – if you’re feeling lonely or sad – do for yourself what you would like a mate to do for you. Take yourself to a movie, call a friend over for dinner, take a walk on the beach or in the park, teach yourself how to roller-blade or take a kickboxing class. I have to repeat this because it’s so important — Do ANYTHING but wallow in your misery of NOT having what you want. Instead, monitor your “attraction meter” – which is how you feel and choose to be the source of your own fulfillment! Choose to be the source of your own joy, your own reason for being, your own fancy tickler and your own instigator of laughter.

“As you feel positive – you are in harmony with your desire. As you feel negative, you are out of harmony with your desire.” – Abraham-Hicks

Ten Ways to BE the source of your own fulfillment

1. Write a list of 50 things that you love to do and then commit to doing at least one of them every day and one of the more time-consuming things at least once a week!

2. Keep a journal of all the things you are grateful for and update it daily – what am I grateful for today?

3. Clean off a dusty dream that you’ve put in the attic and ask yourself what it would take to make this a reality in your life – then take one action step, followed by another action step, and so on.

4. Pray, meditate and seek spiritual enlightenment.

5. Look at your list of what you want in a mate and become your list. If you want someone who is generous – decide to be generous to yourself and to others, now. If you want someone who is educated, a good communicator and loyal – become educated, communicative and loyal. Our outer world is merely a reflection of our inner world.

6. Enjoy the creative process of defining and attracting a mate so much – that you literally feel it doesn’t matter if you ever meet him – because you are enjoying your life so fully right now! Make your attraction process fun by using collage, song, dance, creative projects and activities.

7. Get involved in a cause – one that you can feel like a source of positive influence on the planet. Be selective and choose one that leaves you feeling more enthusiastic and energetic – not less. Choose one that puts you in the presence of positive people not radical negative people.

8. Learn a new skill. Always wanted to sing? Take a singing lesson; always wanted to snow ski? – Take a ski trip, yes, by yourself! Always wanted to learn the stock market – take a class, read a book, hire a consultant. And decide and choose to love every minute of it!

9. Create a grab bag of fun projects and when you aren’t sure what to do with yourself – blindly choose one from the bag.

10. Restore yourself – make a habit of nurturing your mind, body and spirit. Listen to relaxing music, take warm baths, read a great book, have a facial or a manicure – (this goes for guys too -Men in the “know” – think manicures are hip!) and breathe deeply and exercise regularly.

Restore your faith and your level of personal satisfaction and you will absolutely be in harmony with your Divine Partner. Listen for the guidance and joyously follow the inspirations that come forth – they will eventually (and in perfect timing) lead you to your rendezvous!

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Give me commitment or lose me forever!

Thursday, October 29th, 2009

When the fear of commitment prevents the relationship from progressing, when a man is commitment phobic, what you can do from a Spiritual perspective.

How to Manfiest Question

How to Manfiest Question

 

 

I am seeing a wonderful man who has many positive attributes. He says he isn’t ready to commit and in the same breath says, “I love you and we’re going to do ‘this’ together and ‘that’ together…” He’s a man afraid to commit. A complete commitment phobic man. I don’t want to pressure him but sometimes I feel like what I want in a long term relationship – I can’t have from him. I also feel that if I’m patient and just hang in there long enough he’ll come around. What can I do to have the kind of commitment I want with this man? What’s the deal with man and commitment? What is a spiritual solution to my commitment phobia problem? – commitment me, Jenny C.

 

Law of Attraction Help

Law of Attraction Help

 

 

There is nothing you can do to change, speed up or facilitate a commitment from him. Any attempt to spur a commitment from him would be viewed as manipulation and ultimately the commitment would not last because it was not inspired from within but from outside influences.

However, if you are willing to first begin with a change in you and how you react and interact with yourself and your own desires then IF he is truly the one for you then he will naturally “come around.” Everything we experience originates from a desire, belief or thought – from within. Therefore, if what you are wanting is a commitment, examine what “commitment” means to you. What is it that you believe a commitment from him will give you that you want but don’t already have?

You may discover that you already have more of what you want than you previously thought – or you may discover that you have less than you thought you were settling for. You may even discover that what commitment means to you has nothing to do with him but everything to do with you.

If having a commitment means – “I want to feel secure in my relationship. I want to know that he’ll always be there. I want to start planning for the future, and children and a family. I want to share more of my life. I want to divide and share responsibilities so that life is easier. I want a home and more money and…” Whatever your reasons for wanting a commitment, acknowledge even those reasons that you might feel a bit ashamed of – but in fact are driving forces in wanting him to commit long term.

For example, many women want a commitment from a man to have “someone to take care of” them and that’s perfectly normal and okay, -as that is how society has brought us up to believe it should be. However, if a person feels the NEED for more money or a better home and that’s what is driving them to want more, then they may not be in harmony with their mate’s ultimate desires and therefore may end up pushing them away altogether.

If you uncover desires that may be in conflict, search for ways to manifest the feeling of having this desire fulfilled in your life in other ways. For example, if you want security – find ways to feel more secure yourself. Ask yourself, what can I do myself to feel the security I desire for my life, my future and my relationship and then set out to create that feeling. That may mean attending self-esteem seminars, reading a self-improvement book, hiring an accountant, an investment broker, or a coach. It may simply mean seeing a movie by yourself or buying yourself that perfume you’ve been wanting.

The point is to create your life so that YOU are responsible for meeting your needs and all a relationship has to do is put the icing on the cake. Now, after identifying exactly what you want that you don’t already have, continue to focus and desire those things in your life but let go of the attachment to who must bring them to you.

This is an important point, the attachment to having to have your “commitment” come from this one person will put a strain not only on your current relationship but also on the manifestation of your overall desires. So let go of the attachment to “the who and the how” but continue to dream about what you want.

If you rev up your desire to a point that is too much for your mate to handle – he’ll step away – and you’ll want to honor that as being for the best given the fact that you want more. If you stay focused on what you WANT – (specifically on what you WANT – not the fears surrounding what you DON’T WANT) then another more perfectly matched mate will easily come into your life and will be in greater harmony with what you want because they too will want it.

In James Redfield’s, Best Seller, The Celestine Prophecy, insight eight is the interpersonal ethic and says, “we can increase the frequency of guiding coincidences by uplifting every person that comes into our lives.”

Care must be taken not to lose our inner connections in romantic relationships. By seeing the beauty in every face, we lift others into their wisest self, and increase the chances of hearing a synchronistic message.” My last bit of advice is to completely honor your relationship for all the positive attributes you’ve already identified. If you truly love him, continue to love, cherish and nurture this present person in your life as a perfect child of God and therefore worthy of all that he desires too. Uplift him by letting him know that you want him to have all that he desires in a relationship just as you want to have all that you desire – whether that means together or with someone else. Whatever the case, practice being appreciative of the time you have together right now. Do your best to live in the moment, maintain your connection to source and your desires and show him unconditional acceptance without letting go of what you want.

By giving him your unconditional acceptance you will inspire action from him that will be in alignment with the commitment you want – either he’ll “come around” or he’ll set you free to attract the one who will already “be around.”

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