Archive for the ‘Manifest Ideal mate’ Category

Look out for the “Signs of Land!”

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

Florence Scovel Shinn said it best when she explained how important it is to “Watch out for the signs of land!” – see The Wisdom of Florence Scovel Shinn for more information, or read below to discover how we are using her wisdom in our lives today. Applying the laws of creative thought to attracting spiritual love.

 

How to Manfiest Question

How to Manfiest Question

 

 

 

I went out on a date recently with a guy that I knew wasn’t the one – but I said “yes” anyway thinking we could have some fun. Actually, I went out with him three times. However, there are definite things about this man that I am not attracted to. I want to get married and have a family. I don’t want to waste my time with someone that I know isn’t the one – but I also want to enjoy my life in the process. I feel guilty for seeing him and then I feel guilty for telling him that I don’t want to see him. I am also frustrated that what I want seems so far away – that sometimes I just say “yes” to keep from being alone. I don’t want to be insensitive and rigid but then I don’t want to be alone either. I’m frustrated and want some answers – or better yet – I want my true soul mate!

 

 

Law of Attraction Help

Law of Attraction Help

 

 

 

Maybe the real question here is —- Is this co-dependence, the plight of a perfectionist dreamer or are you just human? The answer may be to take a look at all three. First, let’s look at guilt, because when it comes to soaring – guilt is like molasses on your wings – it’ll keep you from flying until you let it go! A friend of mine once said to me, “guilt is optional.” I’ve never forgotten that statement. While there has been a rare occasion where I assess my actions to discover that the option of guilt is justified – I have generally set myself free from the purgatory that habitual, co-dependent type guilt has caused in my past. I simply ask myself – did I make this decision in alignment with my higher values? If the answer is “yes” – then my intentions are to be honest and loving and I do not choose the option of guilt. I pray: “Divine Peace is now established within the hearts of everyone involved and I am grateful that God is at work in this situation, now. I release this in love and I let it go.”

We are not responsible for the feelings or reactions of others, we are only responsible for how we choose to feel and react to others. Second, since time is important to you – let’s not waste any by trying too hard to understand the problem. Instead – let’s focus on solutions and on attracting what you really want. As a creative life coach, that’s my job – to remind my clients that you will NEVER attract what you ideally desire with your attention on “what you don’t want.”

It can be useful to glance at the problem – simply to gain enough insight to derive more of what you are wanting but only long enough to make new decisions and launch new desires. We are radiant beings that draw into our lives – the very things and effects we put our attention upon.

Therefore, if you are a magnet, do you want to magnetize steel or iron fillings? Stephen Covey in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People says “Begin with the end in mind.” This is an important aspect of intentional attraction because the creative mechanism is Teleological. What’s that? Teleology is the study of final causes – especially as it relates to the circumstances and events leading up to the final event. This science indicates that every thing happens not in isolation of each other but were actually caused by the final event. I’m sharing this with you to make a point – every date, every stare, every conversation, every interaction with a potential mate is an opportunity for you to more vividly recognize and determine what you ideally want. Then from this state of increased awareness influence the final event (the right one) to ensure that you are indeed attracting exactly what you desire and nothing less. I have experienced more breakthroughs and seen more personal growth in my clients from this ONE tip – and that is — to joyously appreciate all “the signs of land” along the way. I use this in my workshops frequently.

In Florence Scovel Shinn’s, The Wisdom of Florence Scovel Shinn, she conveys the importance of looking for the “signs of land.” When Christopher Columbus’ crew cried mutiny – he was rescued from the plank by the seagull that sailed over head and by the twigs and timber that floated under toe because if there are birds and plant life – then they must be close to land. Therefore, if you can truly appreciate every interaction as a “sign of land” then you will keep sailing and eventually hit the homeland. The other option is to look at a date, get frustrated that he’s not the one and then jump ship – when just through the fog awaits your ideal mate on the beach with a coconut “frou-frou”- drink in his hand and a smile on his face. The “one” may not be the first, second, third or even tenth rock you hit but if you appreciate the experience then you will continue moving forward instead of backwards. If you don’t appreciate this sign of land as an opportunity then you’ve just aborted the vision by being focused on the negative – instead of the positive. For example, if you get a date with a guy that’s as boring as a boulder and complain, “this isn’t what I want! I’m not attracted to this one at all.” Then in essence you turn your ship around and lose every opportunity to discover – what is it I like about this one? What is it I don’t like – and what is the opposite that I now know I want? What about me might have attracted these qualities in him? What thoughts do I have that may be limiting and be attracting limiting qualities in a mate? And, what do I need to improve in my personality to become more of what I want in a mate and therefore be in harmony with what I want?

Remember – where there are signs of land – there must be land! Stay focused on your desires, be true to your heart and values, be grateful for all your interactions, make decisions that bring you Peace, Joy and greater Vitality and you will absolutely hit your homeland. After all, the soul mate that you desire – desires you!

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Expect losers, freaks and geeks – and you won’t be disappointed!

Friday, October 30th, 2009

The law of attraction says that what we think about, we bring about. The primary law of the Universe, applies to our positive thoughts, and our negative thoughts.

 

How to Manfiest Question

How to Manfiest Question

 

 

I can’t find a decent gal. Every woman I meet is a loser, a freak or a sloth! The last woman I dated was the worst; she was a wolf in sheep’s clothing! It was a close call because I was almost ready to say, “This could be someone I could get into.” Then she stood me up and lied to me. I caught her red- (actually blonde) handed at the grocery store with another guy! If I do meet someone who I might consider dating, then they are too young for me, married, digging for gold or sometimes – gay! Maybe I need to defect?!? What’s up with every woman nowadays being so non-datable?

 

 

Law of Attraction Help

Law of Attraction Help

 

 

Let me just say, “You are right!!!” Gals YOU are going to meet are going to be exactly as you expect them to be – losers, freaks or sloths! Then you’ll have every right to say, “See, I told you so!” But there is hope! See and feel if any of the following statements mean anything to you.

“Who so diggeth a pit shall fall therein.” –Proverbs, 26:27

“What we think about – we bring about.” -anon

“Beliefs are self-fulfilling prophesies.” -anon

“We create our fate every day… most of the ills we
suffer from are directly traceable to our own behavior.” –Henry Miller

If you want to change what you are attracting then change what you are focused upon. Change what you expect, and change your beliefs about women! Your ability to attract someone who has integrity, for example, is limited to your expectation of such. Believe that there are women out there that in fact meet your criteria and have integrity AND that you can meet one. You will get nothing less than what you focus upon and expect. It’s the law of attraction at work; the universal law of attraction operating easily through the power of your thoughts.

Let’s take a situation like online dating. There are plenty of players, losers, nymphos and con artists waiting for their prey online, and if you are fearful of meeting them, then you will be in perfect harmony (and alignment) with that happening. However, if you look at online dating like a numbers game, and then you say, “Okay, I’m just going to go into this with the intention of meeting lots of women. I may or may not find my ideal partner, but I’m definitely going to have fun. I’m going to say “No thanks,” when someone doesn’t meet my standards and I’m going to say, “Yes, let’s play,” when someone does.”

How do you begin to change what you’re attracting, as well as protect your experience from the losers? First, don’t have a pity party! We (myself included) have a tendency to sensationalize our woes. We like (and sometimes crave) the momentary recognition and connection that we get in the sharing. In other words, we like to talk about our worst experiences. So, we hang out with friends who can sympathize. We begin telling our, “Would you believe what happened to me…?” stories and pretty soon, everyone around is reaching far and wide to come up with a better “NO Way – you’ve got to kidding! That’s terrible!” horror story! What’s worse, if we are in a mood to rant and rave, and a friend says, “You know, that’s just not my experience and I would prefer to talk about something more positive.” We want to call them a Pollyanna or a metaphysical woo-woo-weirdo. Don’t do it! Instead, start hanging out with the friends who refuse to put up with or allow you to be negative!

Second, stop judging. The more you judge others and the more critical you are of others – the more likely you will attract not only women who will be critical of you but who will also give you reasons to criticize. Be willing and totally committed to surrendering to the fact that yes, there are in fact women other there with whom you will not want to be in relationship. AND there are in fact, women who you would definitely want to be in relationship. Stop judging women as either good or bad, right or wrong, and instead accept that you will be completely accepting of every human, simply because they are human. Also speak aloud to yourself the following and do so often, “In perfect timing, I will meet my ideal partner.”

Know that what you are sending out (by your expectations and beliefs) actually invites, magnetizes and even inspires your dates to BE exactly what you expect. Therefore, the third action for you to exercise is to change your expectation! To illustrate my point of how we inspire others to fulfill our expectation of them, I’d like to share a story from The Continuum Concept by Jean Liedloff. Jean describes her experience while living amongst a South American primitive clan of Indians and how what they expect naturally of their children actually occurs (creating a completely opposite view of what children are like, when compared to ours). For example, they expect their children, even infants, to survive, to be self-caring, self-protective and to be safe even amidst the jungle, turbulent rivers, poisonous intruders and razor-sharp weapons. Jean gave the example of how she watched an infant, playing at the edge of an eight-foot deep trench. The infant was barely crawling, could only occasionally manage to pull himself to a sitting position, and played all day within inches of this deadly pit (as she saw it). At times the child was virtually at the edge of the pit, sometimes even sitting with it’s back toward the pit. Not for one instant did the mother, the father or anyone else in the village think this child was in danger. They expected the infant to be safe, and it was. They demonstrated their belief and expectations further by the random placement of their hunting knives and bows which children played with all the time, without getting cut. They also expected their children to be safe along the water’s edge and within the water, and therefore death by drowning did not occur. What they expected was in fact what they experienced. Their expectations actually inspired an innate intelligence within their children to fulfill their families’ expectations.

So, change your belief, and you will protect your experience! Believe that your ideal partner exists, believe and expect to meet him or her in perfect timing and believe that you will be Divinely guided, and you will be!

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When is it okay to try and attract a specific person?

Friday, October 30th, 2009

How to Manfiest Question

How to Manfiest Question

 

 

 

When is it okay to try and attract a specific person? I’ve been with this man before, and we’ve never quite gotten together, but he’s available again, and so am I. I’d really like us to get together. Would it not work, or be wrong to try to manifest him into my life?

 

Law of Attraction Help

Law of Attraction Help

 

 

 

It’s not that it isn’t “okay” to try and manifest someone specific, or even that it’s wrong; it’s just that if you succeed and there is someone that is a better match to you, you’ll miss out. Additionally, if you set your sights on something or someone specific, then it’s more likely that you’ll get attached to the outcome. Attachment destroys your positive “vibes;” making it impossible to attract easily not only that someone but anyone else also.

 Remember the wise saying, “be careful what you ask for.” Conscious creation is a science, it is applicable in every situation, under every circumstance. If a person sets out to attract a specific person into their life – it is possible to have this manifest, however, once you get the person, what will you do with them? 

 This reminds me of Shel Silverstein’s poem: Recipe for a Hippopotamus Sandwich.

A hippo sandwich is easy to make.

All you do is simply take

One slice of bread,

One slice of cake,

Some mayonnaise,

One onion ring,

One hippopotamus,

One piece of string,

A dash of pepper –

That ought to do it.

And now comes the problem….

Biting into it!

-From Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein

  You CAN manifest what you put your attention upon. However, the Universe always knows the Divine Timing, the Divine Order, and the Divine Manifestation that is truly in alignment with what we really want.    And, what we really want is NEVER just the “physical object” that we think it is! What we really want is always the “feeling” that we think that “physical object” will give us once we get it. 

 When we try really hard to manifest something before it’s time, or something instead of an experience – we will always be disappointed in the results in the end.   To some degree, our humanness prevents us from being capable of seeing the bigger picture, which includes all the pieces of the puzzle.

 When we try really hard to manifest something specific, sometimes we’ll get it – but “it” may NOT include the higher experiences that include ALL that we want, not just SOME of what we want.

 The specific person may NOT be a true match to what you really want, therefore, it would be better to let the Universe do its job. Focus instead on the experience of what you believe this specific person will bring to your life; the love, joy, comfort, security, freedom, fun, etc. that you believe having your ideal relationship, or a relationship with this person would give you. And, if this person is a vibrational match to what you want, and wants this too – you can’t help but manifest them into a relationship.

 For example, after my divorce, and some personal healing, I decided to practice what I preach and try to manifest my ideal mate, again. Since I teach this stuff, it was even more important for me to get it right, lest I be a failure – proof that “those who can – Do, those who can’t – teach.”    (I didn’t want that!)  

So I sat down. Pen and paper in hand, and began listing the characteristics of my ideal mate. On my list, I wrote, “the many qualities that I loved so much in Allen. Including…. (the list was very long).” Allen was my first love. Long story short – we met in college, got engaged, got unengaged, and I married someone else. But, I never stopped loving him. 

 I focused on the qualities that Allen possessed that I wanted in a relationship, and the feelings that I believed my ideal relationship would nurture.    Ultimately, in a strange set of circumstances, Allen came back into my life (even though we were 800 miles apart, and hadn’t spoken in 4 years). Now, I have what I wanted – “a loving, fun, supportive, passionate” relationship with a “family” man, that wants to continue growing, and evolving as lovers, partners, parents, light-workers, and soul mates.  

I NEVER thought, “I want Allen,” and therefore I was never attached to HIM being the only one for me. However, because he was a match to me, and I was a match to him, the Universe moved “Heaven and Earth” to make our ideal match come together.  

If your “specific” dream lover is meant to be, you can’t prevent it from happening. If it’s NOT – then the last thing you want to do, is make it happen anyway.

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I have been unable to manifest my true love…. is it possible?

Friday, October 30th, 2009

How to Manfiest Question

How to Manfiest Question

 

 

I am 36 and a single parent of two children 7 & 9. Although I have manifested other great things in life, and definitely live according to the spiritual laws, I have been unable to manifest my true love. I have believed that while I am healing, it has been good not to attract any more Mr. Wrongs…even if it means sometimes feeling lonely or unfulfilled. I am quite a self-aware, conscious, and as well attractive woman, and I attract many offers of friendship especially from other women, and sexual offers from men, but no man I want has come along for a long time offering me his heart. So here is my question: Do you think it is better to be single even if it goes on for years…while one is still healing their self esteem and inner psyche, or do you think that it is possible to attract and be able to show up for and maintain one’s true love, by intention alone? Is timing a factor for true love? Is it possible to attract a man who can teach me how to be intimate/vulnerable/trusting, who could help me heal? Or can one only attract what one is able to be/do oneself?

 

Law of Attraction Help

Law of Attraction Help

 

 

Thank you for your courageous searching. Your questions inspire me. I do not know that I have the ‘right’ answer to your questions. However, I do believe that when we turn to the absolute Truths, we find the answers there to be consistent and dependable. It’s this consistency that will provide us with the energy, inspiration and resiliency we desire. Accept these Divine Truths as our Truth and Peace begins to rule our hearts where fear once reigned.

The Law of Attraction says that whatever we focus upon expands and whatever we put our attention upon we draw into our lives.

Your inspiration to not attract any more ‘Mr. Wrongs’ has been (up until now) Divinely Ordered and appropriate. However, it is also in accordance to your fearful (albeit natural) thoughts that you ‘might attract another Mr. Wrong’ that has kept even Mr. Right away.

Our fears are simply as creative in our life as our positive intentions. Therefore, with a resolution such as, “I don’t want another bad relationship”, you have actually been successful at both keeping the bad away as well as the potential good.

You asked, “Do you think it is better to be single even if it goes on for years, while one is still healing?” I cannot speak for you or anyone else. However, I know that I will forever be healing, growing, and evolving. In fact, just when I think I’ve moved to the next level of my spiritual evolution, I am amazed at how poorly I react when confronted with a challenge that I thought I was OVER!

Alas, I have come to the realization that I will forever be a work in progress.

If I waited to be in a relationship until I was healed, I may never be in one. Is this true for you as well?

Whomever we attract into our lives at any given moment, is exactly who is supposed to be there. This relationship may or may not be our one True love that lasts forever. However, this person is there for a reason, even if it’s only for a season.

It IS possible to attract your True Love by intention alone. Additionally, you can only attract a relationship that has the power to heal because it can be no other way. Every relationship is an opportunity to heal. Period. There is no exception to this rule. Yet, it is also true that you can only attract and inspire out of others what you are able to give yourself.

That is okay. Allow yourself to love more and you will attract more love. Allow yourself to accept your humanness and you will attract a mate that can accept that humanness as well.

Stay focused on what you want, not on what you don’t want and you will attract it into your life. Increase your confidence that the timing is now and that you are ready.

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I’m stuck in the pain of my past relationship. I can’t get over her!

Thursday, October 29th, 2009

How to Manfiest Question

How to Manfiest Question

 

 

 

Dear Soul Mate Coach,

 

Law of Attraction Help

Law of Attraction Help

 

 

 

Dear Stuck in Despair,

Here’s the prescription for getting over a love:

  1. Breathe.
  2. Cry.
  3. Breathe some more.
  4. Cry some more.
  5. Then go outside and admire the moon.
  6. Jog through the park looking for beautiful leaves, melodious birds or chirping crickets.
  7. Take an ice skating lesson or go see a movie.

In other words, distract yourself with a mindless activity that recharges your spirit naturally. Then come home and breathe, cry and breathe some more. Repeat twice daily (as directed) until the pain and suffering cease to exist.

That’s the medicine for releasing your sorrow and attachment.

Eventually, the tears dry, the breath becomes less deliberate and life begins to work again.The worst thing you can do, however, is to ignore these feelings or to move on as if you can simply dismiss your despair with a simple sweep of the hand. Some emotions are not rational and are not likely to respond to denial.

Eventually, the mourning and the healing has to come from within. I have had countless clients share with me their formula for “moving on” and when it involves quickly getting involved with someone new – I can almost mathematically calculate the results: “New face – Same Relationship.”

You may want to ask yourself – what is the payoff for not letting go? Do you get to hang on to your love or do you just get to avoid feeling the pain?

Once you are able to recognize there is no avoiding it, you can begin to heal. Your willingness to allow yourself to truly grieve and thereby release your feelings of hurt, rejection, inadequacy etc. will dictate how quickly you can heal your heart and move forward in life.

“What we need is a portable form of the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem, where we can unburden ourselves of accumulated suffering. We must not try to bear the sufferings of the creation ourselves. We are to articulate these agonizing longings and let them pass through us to God. Only the heart of the loving God can endure such weight of suffering.” – Walter Wink*

I recently discovered that I had not allowed myself to grieve the passing of a very beautiful relationship. I had hidden all of my most painful feelings under a veil of anger and resentment – it was much easier to feel angry and to pass responsibility and judgment on to my partner than to accept it as mine.

Friends said, “Wow, you’re handling this so calmly.” While another very in-tuned friend said, “Are you hiding from your feelings?” I of course, rejected that idea.

Then, I caught myself moping and I’m not a moper!!! What’s wrong with me? I was suddenly depressed and miserable – and that is completely out of character for me.

Fortunately, I remembered to call my own personal coach – and I realized what I HAD to do – Cry like a baby! Wail like a weeping siren; Beat a few pillows; Bawl through some Kleenex boxes and let my heart lament until I regained my sense of peace and connection.

It took me four days of committed attention to my feelings but I finally stopped drowning in my tears. The feeling that has come over me sense then is a pure sense of gratitude and I am not only buoyant again but actually floating in a sea of acceptance and peaceful appreciation.

It requires courage and strength to go into our feelings – but it requires greater courage to reach out for support. If after a couple of days you are still in unbearable pain – call someone that can support you in working through the expression of your emotions.

Call a professional – a coach or a therapist, a friend or a priest.Your ability to create a fresh relationship will be in direct proportion to your willingness to release the old, forgive yourself and your partner, discern the lessons from the heartaches, create new decisions from your mistakes, and become grateful for experiencing life’s greatest teacher – a broken heart.

Much love and support to you on your healing journey. I know you’ll find the glowing candle of love burning strong – once you look within to discover it was right where you left it.

*From Bearing Our Sorrows by Mary Ellen Ashcroft and Holly Bridges Elliot – As reprinted in Vitamins for the Soul by Traci Mullins and Ann Spangler.

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This is not working – My soul mate must not exist!

Thursday, October 29th, 2009

How to Manfiest Question

How to Manfiest Question

This is not working! I have been affirming and praying every day for one year now and nothing! Every day I read the same prayer, tell God how thankful I am for my perfect husband and I have not even come close to meeting him. Want am I doing wrong?

 

Law of Attraction Help

Law of Attraction Help

Nothing. You’re doing nothing wrong – except of course, assuming that you’re doing something wrong. And of course, assuming that God and the Universe have ignored your desires or that the Law of Attraction individually singled you out to punish and forsake you. To assume that you’re doing something wrong you have to be judging and looking at your life with pre-selected opinions and ideas and analyzing and assuming that you AREN’T getting exactly what you’re a match to, right now. Take fearless action towards offsetting the doubt that has now accumulated. You are justified in having doubt but no amount of justification will help you attract what you want – so instead accept that all is as it should be. Accept instead of Justify. Surrender instead of Fight!

“To surrender is to display courage and wisdom.” – Ralph H. Blum, The Book of Runes

Surrender and say, “I accept that this is perfect and I am grateful for this time to my self” – and really mean it and feel it.

Then, look towards becoming aware of the guidance and the opportunities within and around you that will lead you to your soul mate. Begin by going within; ask for guidance and understanding, patience and “right-mindedness.” Doubt will come and go but one thing is for certain – your Divine Partner exists and absolutely will arrive in perfect timing – keep that end in mind and be steadfast with your conviction of faith. The worst thing you can do is stay focused on the “reality” that you are not already with your partner. There is nothing that will ensure and create your loneliness more than sniveling. Treat yourself kindly whenever doubt appears – if you’re feeling lonely or sad – do for yourself what you would like a mate to do for you. Take yourself to a movie, call a friend over for dinner, take a walk on the beach or in the park, teach yourself how to roller-blade or take a kickboxing class. I have to repeat this because it’s so important — Do ANYTHING but wallow in your misery of NOT having what you want. Instead, monitor your “attraction meter” – which is how you feel and choose to be the source of your own fulfillment! Choose to be the source of your own joy, your own reason for being, your own fancy tickler and your own instigator of laughter.

“As you feel positive – you are in harmony with your desire. As you feel negative, you are out of harmony with your desire.” – Abraham-Hicks

Ten Ways to BE the source of your own fulfillment

1. Write a list of 50 things that you love to do and then commit to doing at least one of them every day and one of the more time-consuming things at least once a week!

2. Keep a journal of all the things you are grateful for and update it daily – what am I grateful for today?

3. Clean off a dusty dream that you’ve put in the attic and ask yourself what it would take to make this a reality in your life – then take one action step, followed by another action step, and so on.

4. Pray, meditate and seek spiritual enlightenment.

5. Look at your list of what you want in a mate and become your list. If you want someone who is generous – decide to be generous to yourself and to others, now. If you want someone who is educated, a good communicator and loyal – become educated, communicative and loyal. Our outer world is merely a reflection of our inner world.

6. Enjoy the creative process of defining and attracting a mate so much – that you literally feel it doesn’t matter if you ever meet him – because you are enjoying your life so fully right now! Make your attraction process fun by using collage, song, dance, creative projects and activities.

7. Get involved in a cause – one that you can feel like a source of positive influence on the planet. Be selective and choose one that leaves you feeling more enthusiastic and energetic – not less. Choose one that puts you in the presence of positive people not radical negative people.

8. Learn a new skill. Always wanted to sing? Take a singing lesson; always wanted to snow ski? – Take a ski trip, yes, by yourself! Always wanted to learn the stock market – take a class, read a book, hire a consultant. And decide and choose to love every minute of it!

9. Create a grab bag of fun projects and when you aren’t sure what to do with yourself – blindly choose one from the bag.

10. Restore yourself – make a habit of nurturing your mind, body and spirit. Listen to relaxing music, take warm baths, read a great book, have a facial or a manicure – (this goes for guys too -Men in the “know” – think manicures are hip!) and breathe deeply and exercise regularly.

Restore your faith and your level of personal satisfaction and you will absolutely be in harmony with your Divine Partner. Listen for the guidance and joyously follow the inspirations that come forth – they will eventually (and in perfect timing) lead you to your rendezvous!

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Give me commitment or lose me forever!

Thursday, October 29th, 2009

When the fear of commitment prevents the relationship from progressing, when a man is commitment phobic, what you can do from a Spiritual perspective.

How to Manfiest Question

How to Manfiest Question

 

 

I am seeing a wonderful man who has many positive attributes. He says he isn’t ready to commit and in the same breath says, “I love you and we’re going to do ‘this’ together and ‘that’ together…” He’s a man afraid to commit. A complete commitment phobic man. I don’t want to pressure him but sometimes I feel like what I want in a long term relationship – I can’t have from him. I also feel that if I’m patient and just hang in there long enough he’ll come around. What can I do to have the kind of commitment I want with this man? What’s the deal with man and commitment? What is a spiritual solution to my commitment phobia problem? – commitment me, Jenny C.

 

Law of Attraction Help

Law of Attraction Help

 

 

There is nothing you can do to change, speed up or facilitate a commitment from him. Any attempt to spur a commitment from him would be viewed as manipulation and ultimately the commitment would not last because it was not inspired from within but from outside influences.

However, if you are willing to first begin with a change in you and how you react and interact with yourself and your own desires then IF he is truly the one for you then he will naturally “come around.” Everything we experience originates from a desire, belief or thought – from within. Therefore, if what you are wanting is a commitment, examine what “commitment” means to you. What is it that you believe a commitment from him will give you that you want but don’t already have?

You may discover that you already have more of what you want than you previously thought – or you may discover that you have less than you thought you were settling for. You may even discover that what commitment means to you has nothing to do with him but everything to do with you.

If having a commitment means – “I want to feel secure in my relationship. I want to know that he’ll always be there. I want to start planning for the future, and children and a family. I want to share more of my life. I want to divide and share responsibilities so that life is easier. I want a home and more money and…” Whatever your reasons for wanting a commitment, acknowledge even those reasons that you might feel a bit ashamed of – but in fact are driving forces in wanting him to commit long term.

For example, many women want a commitment from a man to have “someone to take care of” them and that’s perfectly normal and okay, -as that is how society has brought us up to believe it should be. However, if a person feels the NEED for more money or a better home and that’s what is driving them to want more, then they may not be in harmony with their mate’s ultimate desires and therefore may end up pushing them away altogether.

If you uncover desires that may be in conflict, search for ways to manifest the feeling of having this desire fulfilled in your life in other ways. For example, if you want security – find ways to feel more secure yourself. Ask yourself, what can I do myself to feel the security I desire for my life, my future and my relationship and then set out to create that feeling. That may mean attending self-esteem seminars, reading a self-improvement book, hiring an accountant, an investment broker, or a coach. It may simply mean seeing a movie by yourself or buying yourself that perfume you’ve been wanting.

The point is to create your life so that YOU are responsible for meeting your needs and all a relationship has to do is put the icing on the cake. Now, after identifying exactly what you want that you don’t already have, continue to focus and desire those things in your life but let go of the attachment to who must bring them to you.

This is an important point, the attachment to having to have your “commitment” come from this one person will put a strain not only on your current relationship but also on the manifestation of your overall desires. So let go of the attachment to “the who and the how” but continue to dream about what you want.

If you rev up your desire to a point that is too much for your mate to handle – he’ll step away – and you’ll want to honor that as being for the best given the fact that you want more. If you stay focused on what you WANT – (specifically on what you WANT – not the fears surrounding what you DON’T WANT) then another more perfectly matched mate will easily come into your life and will be in greater harmony with what you want because they too will want it.

In James Redfield’s, Best Seller, The Celestine Prophecy, insight eight is the interpersonal ethic and says, “we can increase the frequency of guiding coincidences by uplifting every person that comes into our lives.”

Care must be taken not to lose our inner connections in romantic relationships. By seeing the beauty in every face, we lift others into their wisest self, and increase the chances of hearing a synchronistic message.” My last bit of advice is to completely honor your relationship for all the positive attributes you’ve already identified. If you truly love him, continue to love, cherish and nurture this present person in your life as a perfect child of God and therefore worthy of all that he desires too. Uplift him by letting him know that you want him to have all that he desires in a relationship just as you want to have all that you desire – whether that means together or with someone else. Whatever the case, practice being appreciative of the time you have together right now. Do your best to live in the moment, maintain your connection to source and your desires and show him unconditional acceptance without letting go of what you want.

By giving him your unconditional acceptance you will inspire action from him that will be in alignment with the commitment you want – either he’ll “come around” or he’ll set you free to attract the one who will already “be around.”

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Can I deliberately manifest a relationship with someone specific?

Thursday, October 29th, 2009

 

How to Manfiest Question

How to Manfiest Question

 

 

 

Can I apply the laws of the universe, the universal law of attraction to manifest a mate? Can I apply positive thoughts, and creative thoughts to intentionally attract a woman, attract a man, attract a relationship and can I manifest someone specifically?

 

Law of Attraction Help

Law of Attraction Help

 

 

 

If the other person wants what you want, then yes you can manifest a specific person into your life, even if they are presently unaware of what they want. However, this is always a delicate matter because you cannot manifest or create in another person’s reality without their participation. In other words, no matter how badly I want to manifest Mel Gibson or how badly my honey would have liked to have manifested Heather Locklear, the Universe cannot deliver them to our doors without their desires being in harmony with ours – it would NOT be a match and therefore NOT possible.

Another way this could occur is if the other party is ambivalent to what they want and you apply your creative powers to manifest them specifically. You could in this situation manifest them into your life. However, because your attention is on the object instead of the experience even though you’ve manifested them it is NOT likely that they will end up being what you really think you want after all.

This is because whenever we focus on the object instead of the feeling that we believe the object will bring to our lives, then we are focused on external motivators as opposed to the real quest that we all desire – the presence of God. Our feelings are what vibrate and magnetically pull “things” into our lives and if you focus on the external instead of the internal then the Universe will be reading mixed emotions due to the volatile nature of life – thereby, delivering a mate that matches that volatility. If what you really want is to experience love, security, prosperity, comfort, peace and serenity in the form of a relationship then start by focusing on how you can bring that into your life now, without the mate and that will be a better use of your creative powers.

When we focus on “Mr. or Miss Specific Name” instead of what we think that type of relationship will add to our life (that we want but do not now have), then we may get them but we’ll get ALL their good and bad qualities. Make no mistake, when we aren’t of right-mindedness prior to manifesting a mate our manifestation will show this. The more we have focused on the relationship with “them” and the less we focused on the feelings that a divine relationship will bring to us – the more difficult those flaws will be to handle and overcome.

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I Thought I met my Soul Mate – But I was Wrong!

Wednesday, October 28th, 2009

How to Manfiest Question

How to Manfiest Question

 

 

 

I thought I had met my soul mate. We have so much in common and I have had the best 6 months of my life but my heart is now breaking. We’ve started to fight and the disagreements seem to take on a life of their own. It’s as if out of nowhere – our world of magic is suddenly spiraling into this out of control ugliness. Only two months ago we were excitedly talking about getting engaged and now I’m rehearsing our breakup. I love this woman deeply but don’t know what to do to repair the damage that has already been done and don’t foresee a future that’s any brighter. I’m very sad and don’t know what to do. – Heart Broken in Austin

Law of Attraction Help

Law of Attraction Help

 

 

 

Dear Heart Broken,

Accepting the pot of gold beyond the rainbow is not always as easy as we assume it should be. Magic, synchronicity and natural ecstasy color the first few months of beautiful love affairs intensifying our desire for life long happiness with passion, potential and naïve possibility. We fall head over heals in love with the idea of “and they lived happily ever after.” Let me clarify – there is nothing wrong with imagining and embracing the dream of complete happiness forever. In fact – the only way to ever experience any kind of ever lasting happiness is to be willing to believe it exists- whether that belief be conscious or unconscious. However, the fallacy of the fairy tale is the assumption that “happiness” in a relationship is defined by the perfect union of two people who never have any problems or disagreements to resolve. Two healthy and whole people who have found each other and have nothing left to heal. 

I believe you may realize there is work to be done or you wouldn’t be reaching out for support. The pot of gold still exists. Every relationship has a Divine gift and every relationship has its glory and reward. The glory is the opportunity to heal the life-long issues that haunt you and your relationships; and the reward is the fulfillment of your soul’s truest potential for joy. It is true that this may not be your life partner but that does not mean she is not your soul mate. Bowing out before discovering the growth the relationship has to offer will only postpone the healing that is required to experience that life long happiness that we so desperately desire.

Assuming you’re willing to grow, let’s talk solutions. First, create a space of peaceful acceptance. You must let go of your attachment to the ideal relationship having to be with her while still visualizing what your ideal relationship looks like. You must be completely willing to let her go while at the same time be completely centered on the desire to love fully. I’m not saying, “let her go.” I’m saying be “willing” to let her go and maintain your vision of how your ideal relationship would look and feel. Your communication to her may sound something like, “I love you and I am completely willing to let you go if that’s what is required for our happiness. I would love to have you in my life if that’s what is meant to be but I’m turning this over to God. And my ideal relationship would look like this….”

Second, restore the love. You must release any and all judgements about what’s happened as right or wrong and replace these opinions with the decree “This is all part of the Divine plan and somehow perfect!” Look at what this love has brought to you and kindle a sincere sense of gratitude. Your communication would sound like, “I know this is an appointed relationship. I am so grateful for the opportunity to love you and to be a part of your life. Whatever happens is meant to be and I’m sorry that I have judged you. And again my ideal relationship looks like this…” 

Now, ask for input. Say, “If you had your ideal relationship -what would that look like?” Focus on your commitment to grow and be willing to risk exposing yourself to the negative feelings that you’ve been avoiding. You do not have to agree presently to her input but you do have to accept the input as valuable information necessary for your personal growth. Additionally, know that EVERYTHING another has to say about us is true for them and therefore, MUST be true on some level within us. Ask, “Teach me to love you. Tell me what would help you feel loved in this situation.” And again, without judgement accept this input as part of the Divine plan for your growth and be willing to sit with it a while to see and feel how this may or may not be a part of your ideal vision.

With the awareness that you gain you can then choose whether to create anew or simply renew your love.

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Improve Your Marriage Using the Law of Attraction !

Wednesday, October 28th, 2009

How to Use the Law of Attraction to ReCreate Your Relationship (Even When When There are So Many Differences)

How to Manfiest Question

How to Manfiest Question

How can I find harmony and peace with my husband? I am a”Polly Anna”, eternally optimistic and believe in the law of attraction. He is the eternal pessimist and a true “Sarah Burnhart”… What can I do?- C.

 

Law of Attraction Help

Law of Attraction Help

With a relationship that is core-attitude incompatible such as a Pollyanna and an Oscar-the-Grouch, the one that understands the power of the mind, is the one that can intentionally create peace and harmony in the relationship.

In other words, the one that is willing to intentionally apply the law of attraction to improve the relationship is the one that will ultimately be the cause of that experience.

Of course, there’s a couple of catches!

When we choose to change or grow our relationship, we must do this by being willing to first, accept the relationship as it is; without exception and without an attachment to the change we desire. I’ll explain why this is true, shortly.

Second, it’s important to remember that there’s always a price and a pay-off to every change. When we choose to intentionally change a relationship, we can ultimately attract our ideal relationship (even from within the one we have) but not without change.

Therefore, be open, willing, and prepared for changes. It may not come in the package or form that we originally planned. Remember, there are two creators involved here and therefore compromise, flexibility and growth will be required on both sides. This is true whether both parties are aware of the intentions of the other or not.

Now, getting back to the first catch, you must apply the law of detachment by accepting that your mate may never change and be willing to be at peace with this exactly as it stands, forever.

Making peace with your reality is the art of detachment. Practicing detachment does not mean you are giving up on your desire for a more harmonious relationship.

Quite the contrary, you are giving up on your desire to have your mate be someone they are not. You keep the desire for harmony and that becomes your magnetic beacon.

By focusing on the essence of harmony and calling that into your experience, you literally inspire those around you to act, be, and do things that are in alignment with that harmony. And, you inspire yourself to not be present when this isn’t the case.

You are, through the intentional act of surrendering to what is, exchanging attachment for detachment, resentment for forgiveness and rejection for love.

Therefore, if you want to inspire changes within your relationship, choose to surrender to loving it just the way it is.

Then, begin to put your focus, attention, and intention on the love, harmony, optimism, fun, adventure, connection, passion, etc. that you want to experience at the core of your being.

By imagining that you experience these things within the relationship every day, you create a wave of magnetic energy that ripples through your home. Your loved ones will literally feel inspired to ride that wave and in a boomerang fashion return the love you are sending out, as if they no longer want to present their ‘negative’ face but instead feel compelled to be more harmonious around you.

Recently, a client had a major breakthrough with her relationship with her in-laws. It required a great deal of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), creative visualization and a willingness to love them exactly as they are.

She used EFT to eliminate her picture of how they are, including her belief that they were disrespectful and indifferent to her needs and that they were and always would be selfish, self-righteous and overbearing. She then used
a great deal of creative visualization to implant into the Infinite Mind what she wanted instead: kind, considerate, respectful, honoring in-laws that she enjoyed and appreciated.

Here’s her miracle email:

“Just wanted to pass along some awesome news!! My husband’s parents returned home from vacation this week and they came to dinner last night at our house. Not only was it really wonderful and comfortable and easy and fun…
Guess who washed their hands before holding the baby?!?! Talk about progress! Woo-hoo!” THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!” – H.

This email is a miracle because only a few short weeks ago, she would have preferred to never see them again, let alone endure an entire dinner!

She used the power of the law of attraction to literally empower the relationship to have the energy of love, respect, and harmony all on its’ own.

Every relationship experience is caused by our thoughts, emotions and our expectations.

Therefore, to change our relationship experience we must change our thoughts and emotions and expectations of the relationship.

We want to choose whether to use emotional scribbling or emotional sparkle to inspire our ideal relationship from within the one we have.

If we are reacting to what is, then we are using emotional scribbling to draw our relationship masterpiece.

If we are intentional, conscious, and focused on love and acceptance, peace and joy, then we are using emotional sparkle to draw our relationship masterpiece.

In summary, here are the steps:

1) Be willing to love and accept your mate exactly as they are even if they never change.

2) Decide what you want in the relationship and focus on the essence of that desire (peace, love, harmony, beauty, joy, passion, etc.)

3) Begin to give what you want in the relationship. If you want more love, start giving more love. If you want more peace, start being more at peace.

4) Use emotional freedom technique (EFT) or some other forgiveness tool to eliminate the doubts, fears, and resentments from your past in order to free yourself from any self-sabotaging thoughts or expectations.

5) Imagine that you already have the very thing that you want right now from your mate. Practice this vision over and over until it becomes a part of your expectation.

When your love of the reality feels truly fulfilling and your expectation for peace, love, and harmony becomes a knowingness (a firm level of absolute certainty) then your physical world will catch up to your emotional world.

This is when you will open your eyes to the change that has taken place and the materialization of your ideal relationship will be what you see.

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